In my last post I described the first five of the top ten lessons I learned from my dad, John R. Wiley, whose physical body died at 91 this past April. This is Part II of the talk I gave at his memorial service. Dad taught me -- by example -- to be rich in what matters: community, ...
Eight Tips For Radical Hospitality
Mainstream culture encourages a tight focus on self. That focus can feed separation from others, and isolation. Both those are tied to depression, very common in the U.S., especially during the holidays. But hospitality -- both the giving and receiving of it -- is a potent antidote to isolation and depression. It makes us rich in what ...
Handcuffs We Wear Without Knowing It
Being resilient is a key way to be rich in what matters. When we're resilient, we can adapt to a wide variety of situations and still be happy. We can flex our choices, our behaviors and the amount of resources that we use. Rigid comfort zones can confine us like handcuffs. When we have narrow, rigid comfort zones we are ...
13 Ways To Happily Live Outside The Box
The box is mainstream culture. It's easy to live inside of it most of the time, without even meaning to. The box tells us to buy lots, consume lots and to be afraid of lots of things in the world (the things we buy are good distractions from scary things). But when we're rich in what ...
The Best Things In Life — Free, Or Not?
Are the best things in life free? Or do they cost us? What's the currency that buys those best things? I first published this post in 2011. Its popularity has led me to repost it, with a few updates and changes. Many of us were poor in our youth, at least cash-wise. I certainly lived on a shoestring ...
Ten Things To Happily Surrender To, Part II
Being rich in what matters means living counter to mainstream culture in key ways. One of those key ways is gracefully surrendering instead of frenetically fighting. I've tried both approaches, believe me. This series is about my lessons learned (that I'm still learning :)) Last week in Part I we looked at surrendering to our impulse to dance, our aging, our appetite ...
Desire Lines
“Those are desire lines,” Greg murmured, almost under his breath. We were gazing at the faint beginnings of a dirt foot-trail that went across a small field to a major intersection.. We were in Corvallis, Oregon, discussing the town’s bicycle-pedestrian situation (we work in transportation). “Desire lines?” I said, intrigued. “Yeah. They get created where a sidewalk would be desired." ...
The Nature of Summer
The nature of summer is that it makes us richer in what matters. One reason I know this is that I got to dance outdoors last night in the Columbia Gorge. The warm air held my body like a lover. I was swooning, I was so relaxed. Only in summer can this sensation happen, at least here in the ...
14 Ways To Add Value To Any Situation, Part II
Diamond-Cut Life is about how to be rich in the things that matter, like health, financial solvency, dynamic relationships, and peaceful coexistence. Last week I named my first seven ways to add value to any situation. This post completes the two-part series, and draws from my background in counseling psychology (I have an M.S. in that field). Set a boundary. A boundary clarifies ...
Fourteen Ways To Add Value To Any Situation, Part I
Whenever we add value to a situation, we become richer in what matters. And so do those around us. Adding value means adding little crystals of integrity, connectedness, productivity, vitality and sustainability. Do the hard thing you’ve been avoiding. The tough conversation about why your project isn't succeeding . . . responding to that troubling feedback . . ...
